Highly Miserable Twenty Somethings

Miserable still feels like too strong of a world here- but I have to say I took to heart a lot of points in this 7 Habits of Highly Miserable Twenty Somethings blog post on Lifeaftercollege.org.

The three that hit home most for me:

Complain-iscm

I go through phases where I’m really good at not complaining, and then I go through phases of complaining all the time. At my worst, I realize that when people ask me how I am, I begin with some sort of complaint about life’s too busy or I could use a break. We’re all really busy and my life is just going to get more and more so, and that doesn’t mean it’s not a good life.

Some steps I take to complain less:

– When someone asks how you are- start with something positive. This is REALLY simple but I think really effective. Not only does it help you perceive yourself this way, but it helps showcase to someone else why you’re a positive person and more fun to be around.

– Acknowledge when you need to complain and give yourself a short amount of time to do so. Tell a friend you need five minutes to rant, and then you’re done.

– Remove yourself from complaining conversations, especially about work. If you find when you’re with your work friends that you start to chat about work and the complaints begin, offer up a new topic of conversation.

Obsessive Comparison Disorder

I do this one far too much. I find myself comparing where others are in their careers or in their lives, with where I’m at now. It’s not to say any way is right or wrong – but it can be hard not to compare when those who are your peers are buying houses with their boyfriends, planning trips to Iceland and making significantly more money than you.

All of my wonderful beautiful college friends.

I just got back from vacation with a bunch of my college friends, and while it was absolutely WONDERFUL to see everyone, it was difficult to catch myself from comparing my life to theirs. While we were just chatting about how much we pay for rent, being in/accepted to grad school, and boyfriends, I couldn’t help but start to compare.

(Note: I was the only single person in our group of ten!)

How to not do this:

– While not being on Facebook isn’t really an option for me based on my line of work, I’m going to try to limit Facebooking late at night when I’m just perusing pictures for no reason. I don’t need to see how great other people’s lives are compared to mine.

– When I get in this kind of mood, recognize it and have a mantra or a list of things that ARE going great in my life. As the saying goes, “You take things for granted other people are praying for.”

– Be happy for your friends. They are awesome people and they are doing big things!

Crazy Timeline

Coupled with the comparison thing, I find myself having an unrealistic timeline for where I should be in my life, and feel like I’m the only one not on the fast track timeline with everyone else. While hard to admit, I can’t plan out my life and just have to work towards seeing where it goes. With this, there’s also lots of talk about always waiting for the next milestone, wanting the next step, while not enjoying where you are now.

I really love how the Life After College article puts it:

 Let go. Give your dreams the time and space to do their thing. Then watch your dreams grow bigger and stronger, as you feed it with creativity, consistency, and time. And when the time is right, I swear that dream will grow bigger, better, and more beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined.

So dream big. It’s your twenties. Try to just enjoy the ride.

Which of these 7 habits do you fall to most? How do you stop yourself from living in this black hole of miserableness?